SOCIALIST “METAL HEALTH”

“As a dog returneth to his vomit, so a fool returneth to his folly.” Proverbs 26:11

You’ve no doubt heard of the SCHIP (State Children’s Health Insurance Program) controversy by now. President Bush recently vetoed this bill and congress is right this moment gearing up for a fight to attempt to override his veto. This is really a small battle in what is going to be a long protracted fight over socialized medicine in the United States.

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MEET THE NEW BOSS, SAME AS THE OLD BOSS

There I was, certain I would finally get to writing an essay about Global Warming, or at least another one of the many I want to write about Islam. Things lately have a way of not working out as I expect they should. A couple of rock musicians caught “foot in mouth” disease and I feel compelled to comment about it. I was more than capable of ignoring Sheryl Crow’s attack on white house adviser Karl Rove and her suggestion (joke we hope) about toilet paper conservation. Who among us possesses high expectations of Sheryl’s intellect or influence? But this statement I could not overlook:

“The current administration needs to be tried, hung and shot. We need to treat them like the war criminals they are.” Zack de la Rocha

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HEAVY METAL’S GOLDEN GOOSE….COOKED!! By the Ku Klux Klan

Its now official, the proverbial goose that laid the golden eggs for heavy metal’s glory years is now dead. Murdered by the narrow minded bigotry of those who claim to love the genre the most. The pursuit of “metal purity” that began in earnest in the wake of grunge’s successful overthrow of the “Hollywood Hair Metal Club,” is now complete. As with all puritanical cleansings that came along, heavy metal’s pious arbiters of purity have killed the genre in the name of “true metal.”

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Published in: on April 1, 2007 at 12:57 am  Comments (2)  
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THE MASTODON CONSPIRACY

I read too much. It’s true, and believe it or not, it’s not all history or conspiracy related. Every month I go to the bookstores in Montgomery and grab a stack of magazines. Most, but not all, are music related magazines. There are the obvious ones you would probably expect me to read like Brave Words & Bloody Knuckles and Metal Hammer etc. that mostly cater to hard rock and heavy metal, but I also read the ones that hover more in the mainstream like Revolver, Uncut and Rolling Stone. Between these magazines and music websites from all over the world, I find myself reading hundreds, maybe even thousands, of reviews of new records every month. Reading record reviews is something I have enjoyed my entire life. Of course I don’t buy most of these records. No one could. But I do find the various opinions offered on a plethora of artists and musical styles amusing. It has always led to the discovery of new and interesting music.

There doesn’t appear to be any discernable patterns as to what constitutes a “good” record. All too often two records that are remarkably similar will get remarkably different opinions from the same reviewer. Likewise no two music critics see things the same way. You can always find someone who loathes what someone else loves. It is from this volumous reading of reviews that I have, in fact, discovered a disturbing conspiracy being perpetrated against fans of heavy metal all over the world. The evidence is unmistakeable and having unraveled this monstrosity I cannot avoid the inevitable conclusion: Mastodon is the worst heavy metal band EVER and their new CD “Blood Mountain” is the worst record ever made.

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HEAVY METAL: UNDERGROUND OR FRATERNITY

A lot has been written, primarily over the internet but also through many traditional and independent publications, regarding heavy metal as an “underground” music genre.. To be sure it no longer holds a dominant status in the sales figures of major record labels, nor does it dominate the touring market as it once did in it’s 80’s heyday. The question I present is: How did it come to this? At one time metal music was a prominent, even dominant, commercial force.. It is the opinion of this writer that it boils down to two factors: definition and fraternity.

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Published in: on November 5, 2005 at 9:48 pm  Leave a Comment  
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