ALL THE NEWS THATS PRINTED TO FIT

You people are going to have to step up to the plate and do your fair share. You need to go find yourself a homosexual or a Muslim (or, perchance, a Homosexual Muslim) and give him, or her, a proper beatdown. If you don’t particularly dislike Homosexuals or Muslims you can go beat up on some of the old standby downtrodden and discriminated factions of our society, but the media would prefer you stick to the current agenda. You see, there just isn’t enough genuine racism and bigotry in America anymore. As a result you are making the poor media have to go out and create some “artificial” bigotry. But hey, that will do when you have a great idea for a story and are just lacking a few minor things like facts, truth and well, news. Sometimes bad news is hard to find. Shocked that I would say such a thing? Do read on…
From WBRC TV in Birmingham Alabama comes this wonderful story:

ABC is doing a social experiment in Birmingham that includes having same-sex couples show affection for each other in public, according to Birmingham police department sources. FOX6 first learned about this story from a Southside merchant who pointed out an RV parked at the corner of 20th Street and 11th Avenue South. The merchant said ABC was working on a week-long project to see how people would react to things like public displays of affection by gay and lesbian couples. A FOX6 news reporter approached the RV and talked with an “actor” who said, “Yes, we are working for ABC News.”

A South Precinct officer who spoke anonymously said he had received at least three or four reports from people who said they were disgusted over two men kissing in public. That officer says the ABC project is not a violation of the law and that ABC has a permit to park the RV. An attempt to reach ABC News for comment has been unsuccessful.

What’s this? Is ABC News attempting to create a news story out of thin air? Do you think they were looking for passersby to celebrate the “cultural diversity” of American social life as they witness these unsolicited public displays of homosexual affection? Or were they hoping for some rednecks to come by and take a swat at them? All of it, of course, to be captured on camera as an example of intolerance against the current “discriminated minority” they have championed as needing special protection, and therefore special rights, to save them from ignorant hatemongers. So what if the news media had to use “actors” as bait to lure the hatemongers out into the open. The subsequent reactions of hatred would still be real…wouldn’t they?

Naturally Birmingham Alabama is the perfect place to set up their little sting operation because everyone knows the South persecutes gay people. And wasn’t Birmingham the sight of some of the finest examples of discriminatory violence ever caught on tape? Yeah, FOURTY years ago. But who am I to critique investigative journalism? I am sure I should be offended.

If you can’t find the news to tell the story you want, why not just go out and hire some actors and fake it? I find it interesting that they saw fit to use actors and not real gay people. I guess when you are staging phoney news your pride must insist on total fabrication. I can understand that in an Alabama sort of way. I know I prefer to catch a fish on a plastic worm rather than a real one. It makes me feel superior to the stupid fish to know he never was chasing anything real. So by hiring actors instead of real gay people, ABC News is showing their total superiority over the stupid citizens of Birmingham Alabama. Well, except for one little problem…they got caught.

As we all know, competition between the network news organizations is fierce and ABC must have felt the need to prove they were superior to their rivals at NBC News. I am sure you all remember how last year NBC attempted this same sort of thing, only they were not as elaborately deceptive as ABC. They attempted the equivalent of fishing with real bait when last year the program “Dateline NBC” sent what they described as “Muslim-looking men” to a NASCAR race in Virginia. Of course they were accompanied by a camera crew to film the expected fan reactions. Reactions they felt confident they could easily get at this hotbed of Red State “elitist” culture. Apparently they intended to air a segment on anti-Muslim sentiment in the United States. The unco-operativeness of the American population at engaging in these acts of hostility during the transactions of their day to day lives in the post 911 world forced them to try to instigate it themselves. What better place than a NASCAR race to “incubate” such a worthy social experiment? It was a work of genius. Well, except for one little problem…they got caught.

A NASCAR spokesman had this to say about it:

“It is outrageous that a news organization of NBC’s stature would stoop to the level of going out to create news instead of reporting news. “Any legitimate journalist in America should be embarrassed by this stunt. The obvious intent by NBC was to evoke reaction, and we are confident our fans won’t take the bait,” he said.

Unfortunately for NBC the NASCAR fans didn’t take the bait. Instead of manufacturing a news story, they became one. Some days the fish just aren’t biting and then some days you fall out of the boat. Did I say boat? Who could forget NBC reporter Michelle Kosinski giving a live report, while floating in a boat, from the flooded streets of Wayne, New Jersey when two men walked between her and the camera, revealing that the water where she was floating was barely ankle-deep. Later, an NBC News spokeswoman explained that Kosinski had been riding in deeper water near an overflowing river down the street, but there were concerns that the current was too strong for her. “It’s not like we were trying to pass it off as something it wasn’t,” said spokeswoman Lauren Kapp. Of course not.

Such shenanigans are not just limited to the major TV networks. The fabricating of news stories is a thriving and driving force in the print media as well. The New Republic magazine managed to get itself busted recently when Pvt. Scott Thomas Beauchamp, author of the heavily disputed “Shock Troops” article in their July 23 issue as well as two previous “Baghdad Diarist” columns, signed a sworn statement admitting that all three articles he published in the New Republic were exaggerations, falsehoods and fabrications containing only “a smidgen of truth.” It was a clever idea to pay a real soldier to write a story about the treacherous behavior of soldiers fighting in Iraq. It added a wonderful aura of authenticity to an otherwise solid piece of bulls***. Certainly Senator John Kerry must be proud, as he set the standard for this sort of thing. And really, what does the truth matter if by telling a lie you can effect a change for the greater good of mankind? Well, except for one little problem…they got caught.

These unfortunately are not isolated or rare incidents. This is now the modus operandi for a media determined to “change the world.” Reporting the news is so last century. Journalists now see themselves as “social engineers” and our society is just a mechanism for them to tweak…for our own good of course. But you can rest easy for the future is in good hands as this recent news item can attest:

A student journalist at George Washington University in Washington, D.C., admitted that she had drawn swastikas on her own dorm room door. Sarah Marshak signed a confession after security cameras caught her in the act. The campus publication, The Hatchet, said she told the staff that she “only drew the final three of six swastikas on her door in an attempt to highlight what she characterized as the University’s inaction.”

No, say it ain’t so. Like I said, the future of journalism is in good hands. I know it warms your heart to know that there is another young journalist who is well on her way to an outstanding career engineering our society for the better. Well, except for one little problem…she got caught.

“Its not like we were trying to pass it off as something it wasn’t”

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Sunday, November 11, 2007

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